This is my journal

The dream

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:19:18 GMT

Where to begin? I better type as fast as possible since I just woke up and I don't want to forget.

I believe that there is a world within this world, or that is to say it is the same world in another dimension.

From what I recall in the dream, this other world can be accessed in a few ways:

Being killed

Suicide

Or going through certain areas at a very specific time of the day only if you have the ability to do so. The time you can enter is limited to only the odd number of seconds on a clock.
This can only work if there is nobody around you that doesn't have the ability, other people with the ability can see other people go in.

The passage of time:

The passage of time applies to the other world as well; when it is night here it is night in the other world, when it is day here it is night over there.

Time seems to drag on VERY slowly, much like it feels to be under the influence of LSD.

The view:

There was many tracers following the things that moved, turning your head caused everything including the walls to blur back into place.

You cannot see or interact with the people/creatures from one world to another ex; once in the other world you cannot interact with the people in this world.

Weather still applies in the other world, the weather has an effect on the inhabitants of the other world and certain walls where the wicked are trapped.

The world seems to "be aware" of who is in there and why, not that there was a specific purpose. During the nights, everything is pitch black except for the highlighted areas caused from a light emitting source.

Behavior:

For the most part it seemed as though the inhabitants carried out the rest of their would be lives in this other world.

For the most part everyone seemed very friendly, though a bit more extremist when it came to emotive trauma caused by their death a few moments before dying and going into the other world.

The inhabitants also remember who goes in and out of their world. It didn't seem like they can enter our world though.

They seem to be friendlier with people with the ability to enter their world.

If someone with the potential to enter their world dies the inhabitants will know. They will know how they died as well.

I remember in the dream there was a girl named Allie that had the ability to enter, she was killed. Afterward there was a young boy named Thomas who had the ability to enter, he carried a boot that he found in our world which belonged to Allie into the other world, some of the inhabitants vent into a violent rage and killed him in a graphic manner.

The wicked:

I don't know what this was about, it seemed as though they were the equivalent of criminals in our world; I am not so sure about this though. They are punished by being put away inside a wall, when looking at the wall you can see static and vague fires of them within the static. Depending on the weather the static in the wall reacts differently and you can see some of the other wicked. Some you can't see at all, you just see items they were wearing or something, like a necklace.

That's enough about describing the dream, I liked it in there. Maybe if I concentrate hard enough tonight before going to bed I can go in there.

DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 06:48:57 GMT

For whatever reason, nothing will satisfy me more than watching videos of people committing suicide.

People screaming, people crying, PEOPLE DYING!

I am in pain

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:16:19 GMT

Fuck, seriously. Fuck.

I think it'd be in my best interest to go see a doctor. I have been experiencing a lot of pain in my left testicle. I tried checking for lumps just in case it's cancerous or anything and I found something that felt weird.

Two days ago it hurt pretty bad and by the time I got home from work the pain went away, I felt something in there that felt like a piece of an extension cord.

Right now I am experiencing pain at a 7.5 on a 10 scale. I tried feeling for anything, but it feels different now. It feels like someone put some raw meat in a glove, not to mention it hurts to touch it.

Well to start off, I'd give my left nut to get the pain to go away. Damn that joke sucks.

Suppose I have to get my testicle removed, I'd have one ball. They'd call me "OB", then after that they'd call me "OB-Wan Kenobi".

Well that's just as far as my creativity is gonna take me for now. Anyway I am gonna take some aspirin to see if the pain will go away.

This might be genetic

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:07:42 GMT

I am tired of not being able to sleep right. I get sleepy then I remain tired, but can't sleep even though my body is exhausted. When I do sleep I wake up several times during the night.

I want to try melatonin, but I think I may end up dependent on it to be able to sleep in the future due to my body not producing its own melatonin.

Been ignoring my lj lately

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:07:18 GMT

It's been a pretty cool last couple of weeks. I got two new pairs of glasses and Adam got married on Halloween. Everybody got drunk and did karaoke, even the BK got up and sang as a whole. We all crashed at the newlyweds house and drank all night till the early hours of the morning. John locked his keys in the car and we spent so much time playing Tekken 6 and the last 30 minutes were spent trying to open his car door followed by a victory drink. My last beer was on Nov 1.

One of my pairs of glasses is already broken, I broke them at the Dir en grey concert because I assaulted everyone in front of me during Obscure. They didn't have a great performance this time, and I can honestly say that I absolutely LOATHE and DESPISE Dir en grey fans. They are all whiny 13-17 shits that don't want to be pushed at a metal concert. Some girl in front of me got shushed because she yelled during a song. I told the bitch that did the shushing to go listen to them at home if she didn't want people yelling. I did have a fun time with Jesus, my sister and Chan.

Anyway enough about my Dir en grey experience. Here is what everybody wants to see. My broken $130 frames:

It doesn't look that bad.

Now, I realized not too long ago that I have lost track of how many acid trips I have gone through. I have been spending so much money on that, in the end it always reminds me of why I want to be in the medical field. There is something just so bittersweet about LSD, anyway I won't be touching that for a while; school is my main objective.

The game of (real) life

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 05:47:07 GMT

I have been typing on and off in this journal since I was like 15 or 16.

Last two times I drank were crazy:

I drank at Jeff's house with John and Nous. Jeff got drunk and set his porch on fire with gasoline. He burnt a log for a few hours in the same area and the fire burnt through his porch, he almost obliterated John's crotch with gasoline cause he almost spilled it on him.

Time after that, the BK got together to drink at Adam's house. We had wine, hookah and a few 40s. John ended up missing for hours and I was left to drink by myself cause everyone fell asleep. John was wasted and he ran out of gas, luckily he wasn't arrested by the cops that pulled him over and helped him push his car to a gas station. I ended up blacking out by myself watching Wizards of Waverly Place and calling people about John's whereabouts. Gustavo got sent home for being too drunk at work.

I am about to be 23 soon, which leads to to my next topic.

I have no real direction in life. Every ounce of confidence and plans are either: delusions or half-assed attempts at trying to do something. In any case, I choose to follow the path of my own delusions; I will make it farther that way and I'll enjoy myself more.

I have a project I am working on too. Instead of getting stronger for the Dir en grey show and Selena Gomez (you know for pushing crowds), I decided that I'll be better off strengthening my fists. I'll punch harder and it will make people think twice about getting in front of me at a show.

That's it.

SUCCESS!

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:13:42 GMT

ES-YOU-SEE-SEE-EE-ESS-ESS THAT'S THE WAY YOU SPELL SUCCESS!

I have enough money for school! Well I still owe John and Paul about $100. I also need a new pair of glasses. That will set me back a good $300, but next check for sure.

This is no longer a dream or fantasy.

I will go to school.

Many things to type about

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:41:23 GMT

WORK:
Stephanie and Mayra are annoying. I have started treating them like shit, I usually don't notice until it's too late.

I think I found out who likes me at work, he is a nice guy.

EVENTS:
Adam's wedding, Jeff's birthday, Oni-con, and a rave all happen on the same day. I REALLY want to make it to all of them.

Wal-Mart has a Halloween costume contest I want to be something VERY SCARY and scare all the children.

There is a wine festival this month. Enough said.

LIFE IN GENERAL:
I found out recently that my little brother has asthma, he has also been sleepwalking almost every day.

I have actually been working at keeping my goals in check, as a result I am becoming more successful each day and that much closer to my goal.

I have the best Zodiacs ever I am a scorpio and a fire tiger.

Where is everybody? I really haven't gotten the chance to hang out with anybody lately.

Does anyone think it's a waste of money to upgrade a computer and then just play the old school games?

STUFF I WANT IN THE FUTURE:

Selena Gomez's album

PS3 (not the shitty new one)

Nvidia Tegra

New PSP (only if it can be hacked)

Audio Technica ATH-EM700 headphones

Same face

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:14:52 GMT

I saw Tessie's face yesterday. Ever since she smiled she looks disfigured.

More people from work

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:32:52 GMT

Going back to three weeks ago during my Wal-Mart orientation I saw a girl there. Not that there was anything special about this girl in particular. She was cute I suppose, but not in the sense of me finding her attractive.

Anyway, I have seen her around the store from time to time. Her name is Tessie. She walks around looking very depressed; it looks cute.

Today I saw Tessie smile.

That was quite possibly the most disgustingly grotesque face I have ever seen anyone make. I could sit here and think up of every possible synonym for the word "ugly" to describe the way her face looked like at the moment smiled and I still wouldn't have enough words to describe that horrendous face.

Tessie should look lifeless and depressed more often, that will please my eyes better than her smile.

Meeting people at work

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:11:53 GMT

Yeah so I have started talking to some of my co-workers during my lunch and while I walk around the store doing nothing.

Wal-Mart employees are pretty damn boring and weird. Except Rey's brother, he is cool cause he isn't a pain in the ass to talk to and he isn't nosy.

I did meet some guy named Bobby, he is really nice and has many jokes and puns; he is quite witty and always has a smile on his face. Because of the way my mind works though, I imagine that is his Wal-Mart persona. I imagine that he is a raging alcoholic and he sits in front of his television each night by himself watching infomercials and crying out loud all while drinking a bottle of McCormick.

I also believe that he owns a gun of some kind, however he works at Wal-Mart, so all of his pay goes to paying his bills and he can't afford to buy the bullets that he desperately needs to kill himself.

I am calm right now

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:33:49 GMT

I don't like being calm of mellow, I think it's a big waste of time. I do realize that the human body needs to rest, but moments of relaxation are hardly fun at all.

It seems that I have been getting into these weird mood swings lately, as usual though my emotional lifespan is about 1-10 minutes.

Damnit, life is too damn uneventful. That is exactly why I don't like being calm. I like being with my friends, even though we do nothing sometimes we always have something to joke about. THat being said, it brings me to my next point: I don't like meeting new people. They are awful and weird by my standards, I suppose that I am weird by their standards too.

I like to think that all my friends are intelligent in some way, or if they are not then they are at least really cool to be around. Even though all my friends are intelligent I know that we have very little common sense and we get involved with whatever seems to be happening around at the moment. We drink extremely irresponsibly, but it's strange...

This is weird for me to think about.

If I had not gotten drunk with Jake at Oni-con in 2006:

I would not have talked to Tanya

I would not have mentioned getting drunk and talking to some people to Jake

I would have not continued going to Jaime's house and spoken to Jake

I would have gone to A-fest in 2007 but probably not talked to either Jake or Tanya

Which in turn I would have not realized that Tanya knew Jake and that I was trashed when I met Tanya two years prior, but had completely forgotten about it until Jake brought it up

Finally I would have not gone to Dallas and met Fate, Des, Light and Dark

-That written up there was a fucking trip, much so, I am starting to feel something inside; it feels good.

I suppose some acts of irresponsibility, are not bad after all.

Really, I like the people I talk to. With them I can be me without being weird or excluded from everything. Kinda like how John, Gus, and Jeff are really used to me playing Selena Gomez; I think they got used to it so it's nothing out of the ordinary.

I am starting to feel something else, I don't want to think about what that is.

So far

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:24:03 GMT

I believe I have been doing well so far.

Though this year has been shit for the most part I think I can still accomplish something.

I tried a psychedelic.

Gained weight, I am up to 128 lbs.

Started saving money

So I finished community service, yeah. I feel validated and exponentially neutral towards it.

I am excited about my next check ^.^ I am gonna do my best to be what I wanna be.

To day I met two girls at work, I think their names are Cynthia and Stephanie. For about an hour I thought that they were both kinda hitting on me. It turns out we have stuff in common, but I don't really care much about either of them.

After talking to them some more I think Cynthia was being nosy because she told me that she wanted to know if I was straight or gay because one of her guy friends thinks I am cute. I still think that Stephanie is kinda hitting on me, she wants to go to the beach and wants me to drink with her.

I think I should stay away from Stephanie.

I am job

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:05:56 GMT

Yup.

Did I mention I have absolutely no clue what is going on? I don't intend on doing this much longer, but I took about four unscheduled breaks.

The pay is awful, my department is VERY hot and they keep moving me throughout the store; despite all this my spirits are very high. I enjoy going to work, I always go in with a huge smile cause I just played some Selena Gomez in the car.

I know it's weird for me to be listening to Teen Disney songs, but Selena Gomez really lifts my spirits, and also it makes me have some unrealistic fantasies that wake me up completely and make me more productive.

I can't wait till I start saving my money. I am gonna be going to school, pay back John and Paul, and upgrade my computer. I don't think anything will get in my way this time.

Damn I talk waaaaaaaay too much about Selena Gomez. Btw won the Teen Choice awards and as a result Jesus and I blacked out at my house. I showed up really drunk to my first day of work.

No, it's not just Selena Gomez that does this. I like the music I listen to and drink to cause they give me powers. Suddenly things that are hard to accomplish become easier to do and become realities.

I hope I can make enough money to move out. MMMMMMMM! ^_____________^

BOOM SHAKA LAKA!

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 02:18:05 GMT

My parents will be back from Mexico in a few days. Shit man I really wanted to take some drugs, I failed at drugs; couldn't find any psychedelics. I ended up drinking, and as a matter of fact I have been drinking for more than a week now, but this time I have kept it a bit more responsible than other times; the house was still a mess though.

I was a bit irritated for like an hour cause the house was messed up, and I thought that John was gonna destroy my couch at one point. For whatever reason Jesus wanted Pepe to kiss him...

Anyway, I GOT A JOB!

I am not too happy with the job, but at least it's an opportunity. I can finally get my life back together now.

I thought about moving in with John and Jeff, and I guess whoever else was in on this. It seemed like a good idea at first, but now it doesn't and that's just because I know that I will not be making enough money.

I can at least focus on the things I need and want to do.

Pay John back
Pay Paul back
Money for school
New wardrobe for myself, this time I think I know what kind of look I want

Hmmmm, this entry is being typed up really erratically. Well, hmmm I have been thinking of some creative shit; I think I should start drawing. My dreams are really vivid and I have been seeing some CRAZY things in there recently.

Fields with no skies overlooking an upside down field over it,
Incomplete humanoid life-forms being held together with leaves or ashes,
People with strange bodily functions and movements; these are usually really graphic and violent in nature.

I can't quite describe the things I see, it's almost as if I am in another dimension when I dream these things. I suppose it's because I use all my senses when I dream.

I don't feel like drawing though, so meh. I'll do whatever I feel like doing.

Bah, whatever

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:28:40 GMT

Today was mostly a shitty day.

Woke up sick, didn't go to community service. I am done with the minimum for this month anyway.

Got electrocuted, got a mild electrical burn.

I got in a stupid argument with my dad, it was one of those things where he shouldn't have snapped, but he did anyway. It all ended with him talking a lot of shit and I ended it all with a witty yet truthful statement about his shit talking.

I shouldn't have said anything, I kind of feel bad about it. He shouldn't have been talking shit in the fucking first place. Everything would have been better if I had just said nothing I suppose, but there was no winning on either side on that argument.

All of this dumb feeling bullshit gives a me a bit of a dose of reality when it comes to something.

*CRASH!*

Yea, that was big time expected. Anyway I am almost sad that my chances of meeting Selena Gomez seventeen years old (I had to throw that in cause it reminds me of Great Teacher Onizuka) are relatively 1 in 304,059,724**, that is about 0.00000000328882756%**

So there is a 1 in 304,059,724** chance that the next person I meet will be Selena Marie Gomez.

Everybody tells me that it's one in a million
or one in a billion
one in a zillion.

Ahhhh, Selena she is seeing someone too. That's expected to happen though, and in all fairness I am probably not the first to have a random celebrity crush on a celebrity lol.

**Source: 2008 US Census

Aside from what is written above there is a major problem:

WHY THE FUCK IS THIS BOTHERING ME!?

Damn, I sure as fuck remember the old Freddy; back when I was 17 or so none of this shit would have bothered me. I really believe that alcohol has fucked with the frontal lobes of my brain (the part responsible for emotions). Now I am having them from time to time and they are getting more emotive; except for the sad ones those don't last too long.

I was so under control, now I am this little hedonistic shit with no control. I need LSD, I was perfect on it; no emotions, no yearning for a brighter future, just pure nihilism.

HA! Enough blubbering! Ever since her birthday I have been doing lots to keep me busy and to learn to become a better worker ect. I am learning some carpentry and I am almost done with my community service, I might get my warrant dismissed and I am closer to getting a job. Fuck this I can fucking do this!!

I suppose that self delusion isn't so bad as long as you can control it in a positive manner...

I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!

FUCK THE COURT I GOT A WARRANT!

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 02:22:11 GMT

Alright I am in an okay mood cause I just finished watching Wizards of Waverly Place, but that mood might change during this shit blog.

I got back from fucking community service today to discover that the Pasadena court called my house saying they got a fucking warrant out for my arrest. They said I sisn't pay for something, so I am thinking I had no active tickets (except for the shit I got right now) and I am doing community service.

So I called the Pasadena shit court of stupid bastards to ask about my stupid ass warrant. Then, as usual the stupid bitch that was supposed to pick up the damn phone for stupid bitches didn't pick up the phone.

So I sat there, trying to comprehend this the best I could. Here is a real life picture of me comprehending:

Alas, I was too concerned with revenge so, I told John and Jeff about it. John said that there was probably a misunderstanding.

How could this be possible? I had both my tickets turned into one fucking case!
AND I HAVE PROOF!!

SEE!?!? YOU SEE THEM!! TWO DIFFERENT CASE NUMBERS SEPARATED BY A COMMA, I KNOW YOU SEE IT!!

EVEN THIS GUY SEES IT!!!

Fuck, I am tired of this shit. How about I make the misunderstanding that big rocks are not supposed to be thrown at the judge's car? Or how about I misunderstand my machete to every fucking person's tires on my revenge list? Yeah that includes the judge, fucking puto.

Aww man, what the fuck

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 05:44:16 GMT

I just had this kick ass energy surge that made me feel as if I could end the world with the snap of my fingers. Now it's gone...

I definitely feel like a loser right now, but not in a depressive way.

Anyway, I know I can get out of this funk right away. I just need to be inspired somehow, which isn't hard cause I can easily get carried away with things.

Actually I don't think I should engage in that now, I have community service tomorrow and I want to get that shit done ASAP, and if I energy surge now I won't be able to sleep for hours. Well at least I have some control over it.

Ok, I think just thinking about it might give the the energy surge and MASSIVE confidence.

Yeah, so I have been unemployed for a while now; the thing is that I definitely know I have been trying. This means I have not been wasting time and my spirit probably can't be killed easily.

Today was Selena Gomez's birthday and I was SOOOOOO productive and I am no longer a pedo for her cause she is the age of consent; YUH! I applied to so many places even places where I didn't meet the requirements.

Fuck, I know I can get a job. Not only do I need it I want it. This time though I know I will be responsible enough with my money to go to school and make an attempt at being what I want to be.

PERHAPS EVEN MEET SELENA GOMEZ!

Awww, but that is SO UNREALISTEC!!!KEGLDKG

ENERGY SURGE! I NEED MUSIC FOR BADASS!

NO! I CAN JOB! I CAN DO MY BEST FOR HOUSE IN NOVEMBER WITH JOHN AND uhhhhh WHOMEVER! ASSUMING I AM STILL CANDIDATE FOR DDDHI HOUSEEEE!

I can only try, I can't control the hirer, but if I could then I would have a job and his life at my fingertips overlooking the edge of a very tall building.

YEAH! So my plan is to go to community service, do as little as possible as poorly as possible AND AND ANNNND get away with it, FOLLOWED BY JOB!

FUCK! THIS IS BADASS! I FEEL MY BLOOD COURSING THROUGH ME!

I wonder why I like her so much... Maybe it's her hair?

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 23:34:25 GMT

Aside from the pride parade downtown the month of June was quite possibly the worst month I have had in my 22 years of being alive.

Pros:

Pride
Gustavo's birthday

Cons:

Broken glasses
Unemployment
No money
Transformers
Jail time for a PI when I wasn't drunk
$275 fine for a PI
Car crash
Scraped up the bottom of the car as soon as it came back from the shop

Pride was fun, but we left home early cause Jesus kept complaining that it was hot. That was bullshit cause there was shade and lots of free water to go around, not to mention that he was the only one that wanted to leave.

I DO NOT understand why people like any of the Transformers movies, I understand that it's a lot of eye candy just watching the damn things transform, but the movie's dialogue is bad enough to make me want to shit myself than having to watch that damn movie. Not to mention, the movie's retard obsession with the military; I don't like how the air force has weapons that only the army would use, they use army lingo and they have tanks.

Ugh, fuck... Lately NOTHING has been going my way. I ran over another nail on the road and now I have a flat tire again. I have $10 dollars and I can't afford to pay off my mother fucking phone bill this month.

I won't be able to go to Louisiana in a couple of days as planned.

Despite of all this, I am gonna try and look at the bright side. I have a job interview this Tuesday working for an electrical company.

Vehicular scuffle

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:32:53 GMT

I was hit by a car the other day. The front left part of my car (not really my car, but I'll use that term) was hit by a larger vehicle.

I remember I was thinking to myself "crap". Then I used my cell phone to copy the license plate number of the other vehicle. I then sat in the car and waited for the song that was playing to finish, then I proceeded to sending John a text message and I told him what happened.

So for a while I just stayed sitting in the car, I then thought I had stayed in the car a sufficient amount of time. I looked at the car then I sent Jesus a text message about what happened. I figured the cops were going to get there anyway, so I didn't freak out.

Nothing important happened after that. I called my parents and told them what happened; as usual my mom was freaking out and she kept blaming me for everything, my dad just stood there as usual.

When I got home my dad told me to clean off the paint from the other car, but told me to be careful not to scratch the paint on our car.

Really now...

Anyway, due to a technicality on the law the police said I was at fault. They said it won't go on my record if I complete some defensive driving course.

Fuck, 2009 is turning out to be shittier than 2008.

Damn life

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:47:19 GMT

Well I don't know where to start since there is no beginning to this.

First off, I just got out of jail not too long ago. I went in for a PI (yet again), but this time I wasn't alone; Jeff and John were there with me. I think I am mad at Jeff, but only because I think I should be mad. Every time we drink at my house he breaks something, and this time I was sober and since I was with him, I went to jail with him. Jail is funner with friends, though, it is not a place I want to keep visiting. I am tired of all the stupid behavior, like peeing in rooms that are not a restroom, I have made a habit at doing that once I black out.

All this is costing me $275, and that is money I don't have. So I am going to have to go back to jail again in the future.

I can't even listen to music without wanting to drink myself into a stupor, I know I can stop, I just can't believe that It took me like 5 or 6 jail visits for me to realize public intoxication isn't worth it (unless you are in Las Vegas).

I decided to slow it down for good this time, and that's because alcohol can become a habit; but mainly it's because you can get a sentence up to 4 days for a PI, it's no longer 8 hours in the drunk tank and a slap on the wrist.

I still keep thinking that this is the "new year", but the new year is long gone. I have made a couple of changes in my life already, though it hasn't worked out I know I am making the right decisions.

I have decided I want to be successful, and looking at the last couple of interviews I have had, I can honestly say I am on my way. All I need is to get past the hard part.

Right now I am looking at a job selling life insurance, there is serious money in that. Judging from my character I realized that you just have to be comfortable no matter where you are and things will work out. I need $270 dollars to get my license, I don't know how I am gonna get that money; but I know I will make A LOT more money on my first week working there.

I started selling my bodily fluids, I don't care about saving a life. I just want money.

I am gonna be successful one day, I know I can.

Damn for real

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 05:21:09 GMT

Life in general is really, pointless. Except for the little parts where you don't have to worry about responsibility.

Every day that goes by that I am unemployed I just become just that much more of a loser.

Well, I have a plan. Well a couple of plans, I just have to put them into action. Where do I begin though?

I realize that all creatures are habitual, so seeing as how what I have done so far has not made me successful I am going to make a few adjustments. Before I get started on any of this I need confidence, I need to become a man. A man's man. A man's, man's, man's, man.

I am gonna start off with Marlon Brando, but I want more confidence than Marlon Brando. I want the confidence of Marlon Brando on PCP. Except I won't be taking any PCP.

That's phase one of my plan.

Taking turns acting retarded

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 04:22:54 GMT

Man, what the fuck is it about going to Giovanni's place that makes people get really fucked up and retarded?

I have NEVER been sober at his house EVER.

Back when he used to live in his apartment; we used to go, get drunk play games and we were pretty much quiet. Now that he is in his house all we ever do when we go is get wasted and act so fucking stupid.

Joose made things worse because it has all this crap that makes you hyper, so you are a hyperactive drunk. For whatever reason we all ended up standing in a circle and tap dancing in his living room.

And Jeff, Jeff always ends up with his pants down. John keeps calling Cedelah when he blacks out and leaves her messages like "FUCK YOU!". I didn't think Adam would be up for doing the crap we do, I was so wrong; his girlfriend Ashley is really cool about it too.

ARGH! WHY DOES GOING INTO A DRUNKEN STUPOR HAVE TO BE SO FUN!

I can't wait to see what dumbass thing we are gonna do next, just as long as I don't get in trouble with the law. It's cool though because I haven't done anything illegal in more than a year.

Interview type shit

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Wed, 20 May 2009 02:17:06 GMT

Yeah, so I got really wasted and ended up showing up like 15 minutes late and drunk to my interview at the fashion place. John took the wheel while I was still getting dressed in the car. There was like music blasting when I walked through the door and there was a TV playing MTV (MTV sucks btw).

The interview was prety straight forward except that there was a dalmatian in there and it was group interviews, so we got called in groups of 2. I'll call it Perrolax.

I was told to come in for a second interview and I was gonna get the chance to meet the company boss. I was one of the 6 people that got selected out of the forty something they called that day.

Next day I went I was called into a room where there was some TV playing some comedian called Gabriel Iglesias. They said the point of that was to get people to loosen up before meeting the boss, this was yet another Group interview there were like 40 people in the room at this point.

The entire interview consisted of the boss testing your nerves. He would get someone to stand up and he would send them home, while he would get some people to stand up and say something like "nah just kidding sit back down."

People were leaving left and right, the boss threw a marker at some guy and then he asked some girl to leave and she goes like "FUCK YOU I DON'T EVEN WANNA FJHFDS FUCKING WORK YOU YOU ANYWAY, CHILLI PEPPUH!!".

About that time there were 24 people left then he started getting rid of people that he didn't find interesting or if he asked them something and their response wasn't great.

He then asked me, in front of the whole group "Freddy, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I HIRE YOU!?"

"Because I want to be successful!" I said out loud.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?!??"

"You heard me!"

"Freddy, I want you to pick up all your shit and get the fuck up off that seat...
YOU ARE SITTIN UP HERE AT THE FRONT MOTHER FUCKER!"

Hes sent a few people home after that and explained why. There were now 16 people left and said he only needs 8 people. Just like that he walked out of the room and told up to come back the next day for training.

That shit was crazy.

Paperwork

freddy01423972003@yahoo.com — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:13:38 GMT

So I am filling out my paperwork for that job in the fashion industry tomorrow.

It's asking if I have been convicted of misdemeanors, I know what to write down I just don't know how to write it. I think I should make it a bit humorous, but not humorous enough so it sounds as if I never learned my lesson.

I ended up wasting a lot of time and money last night too. I will use this to help me drive my need for this job.

Also I bought an album by Selena Gomez, it's awful, but I really one song. That's the only reason I bought it really. Also because I bought that album I can't pay my bills anymore.